Emotional advice to data

From a star trek short story I'm reading. Troi is discussing emotions with Data:

Often, the things that make us angriest are the things we fear the most. Arrogance and hostility are often compensation for feelings of inadequacy and insecurity." She leaned forward. "All your life, Data, you've believed that you wouldn't be complete until you achieved humanity. And since you weren't human, you've always believed you were less than you should be. Before, that was simply a detached appraisal to you, with no strong value judgment implied. Now, though, you have an emotional context for that feeling of deficiency, and it worries you. It's possible that it's manifesting as an inferiority complex."

Data frowned. "I do not understand, Counselor. How could my beliefs from the time before the emotion chip affect my emotional state now?"

"Emotions aren't separate from cognitive thought, Data. They interact with it closely, and it shapes them as much as they shape it. Your belief in your incompleteness is a lifelong habit." She paused. "Tell me: why did you feel you needed this chip?"

He was surprised at the question. "Because I wished to possess emotion."

"But isn't that a contradictory statement? Doesn't the very existence of the wish suggest that you already had emotion of a sort? True, you had emotion of a sort? True, you didn't have the same kind of passion that we humanoids have. But you obviously had preferences, affinities, dislikes, ambitions, regrets. They may not have been human emotions, they may have been subdued and understated, but that doesn't mean they couldn't have qualified as a kind of emotion, if you'd been willing to perceive them in that way. You could have chosen to embrace and develop your own distinctly android emotions--been satisfied with being the unique entity that is Data. But instead, you've always thought of being an android as a handicap you had to overcome."

"But it is, Counselor. I do not live among androids. I live among humans and other humanoids. Installing the emotion chip was the only way to overcome my inability to relate to my friends and colleagues in the fullest possible way."

She smiled sadly. "And has it worked the way you thought it would?" He opened his mouth to reply, then closed it, taking her point. "Maybe that's part of the problem. You saw this chip as a solution to your difficulties, but it's just created more. You haven't achieved your longed-for understanding of humanity, and that may be reinforcing your feelings of deficiency.

"Data, perhaps the hostility and arrogance others sense from you is a preemptive defense against the disapproval you expect from them. And it becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy."

He pondered her words for some time. "And...if this hypothesis were correct...what would be the treatment?"

She thought it over. "Maybe the key achieved your longed-for understanding of humanity, and that may be reinforcing your feelings of deficiency.

"Data, perhaps the hostility and arrogance others sense from you is a preemptive defense against the disapproval you expect from them. And it becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy."

He pondered her words for some time. "And...if this hypothesis were correct...what would be the treatment?"

She thought it over. "Maybe the key is to stop looking so hard for external causes and solutions. We're all ultimately responsible for our own actions and choices. Even when we're provoked by others, we still choose how we respond to that provocation. So you need to learn to manage your own emotional state regardless of She thought it over. "Maybe the key is to stop looking so hard for external causes and solutions. We're all ultimately responsible for our own actions and choices. Even when we're provoked by others, we still choose how we respond to that provocation. So you need to learn to manage your own emotional state regardless of whatever incitements or judgments you perceive from others.

"If the problem is with your own self-image, then the crucial thing is to make peace with it. If you do that, then nothing from outside can threaten your sense of self."

"And how would I achieve this?"

"By learning to accept yourself on your own terms. Don't worry about whether you're human enough, or emotional enough, or liked enough by others. Don't feel you have to conform to others' expectations. Just try to be the best Data you can be. I know it seems paradoxical to say that the way to be more sensitive to others is to stop worrying about what they think of you. But dwelling on external causes for our emotional states can keep us from recognizing or exercising our own ability to manage them, to calm our own anxiety and find peace. And when we're at peace with ourselves, it's easier to make peace with others."

After a while, Data shook his head. "I am sorry, Counselor, but I am not convinced by your analysis. I believe my problem is simply a matter of control and discipline, or else the result of a technological malfunction." He stood. "However, I appreciate your reassurance that I am not likely to inflict physical harm on anyone, and I will endeavor to be more sensitive to the egos of my colleagues. Thank you for your time, 

Tym Lawrence